JOSEPH (V.O.) All my life I’ve been a fighter– emerging from struggle. Couldn’t nobody break me. I made them pay me my due respect.
This is a line from the script “Special, The Joseph Mathews Story”, the story of a young black teenage boy’s rocky journey towards defining self worth as a black male through wrestling while battling a broken Oklahoma City school system and the temptations of the hood.
As much as this is a tribute to the life of one man it is an ode to my brothers… and the triumphant spirit of the black man.
As a budding writer it is important to learn from and study those who have come before you… they are proof that you can do this and that your goals are tangible and achievable… This man started out as a furniture mover–Life will bring you all types of opportunities to step into your passion!
Let’s talk about what we all feel at some point or another on our journey but don’t share our experience of…I am on a personal journey of being in a constant state of awareness because I don’t want to be caught sleeping when I’m supposed to be living so here goes…In my experience of being in tuned with my artist portal I discovered fear’s footprints in my sanctuary… it is not fear of creating, because I was born to actively share what I create or PERISH but it is fear OF…non-acceptance… or perhaps fear of failure, fear of little to no income doing this thing that I love because NO ONE ever gets paid to do what they love…fear that as a black woman and a first generation college graduate I need to be doing something more fiscally generative to advance my family’s social status… FEAR OF FEAR ITSELF!
While writing this, I am mortified that I could even come up with these thoughts because this is confirmation that at some point or another they were real manifestations or thoughts that I ran across in society or that… I created myself (GEEZ We are are powerful!)… and NOW in this very moment I want to blow them to shreds with a nuclear missile. FEAR has now turned into shrapnel and inconsequential matter.
So much of what I do as a writer and filmmaker is connected with how I view the world and is translated through the spiritual bifocals that I have acquired on my journey. Malcolm Gladwell speaks of the 10,000 hour theory to mastery, and I would like to go further and join Richard Moss’ conjecture that the 10,000 hour theory also applies to our belief systems and projected realities as spiritual AND ARTISTIC beings. You are what you think about all the time… and “our only sense of who we are is based on a continuous arousal of the stories we tell ourselves” (MOSS)… marinate on this for a moment. Let this sentence sink in in terms of story and a society’s oral history. What is the connection between a culture’s stories and the republics perceived identity? We are what and who we think– into being.
I am constantly surrounded by people who are UBER talented and simultaneously live in a black hole of fear and contraction. How is this possible? If this is you… please BREAK OUT & start living now, life is too short to dote on what you aren’t… JUST BE what you ARE!
When trying to create art there is no room for doubt or fear because you are already unearthing layers of your existence in life to redistribute and reflect into society… you have to be open and vulnerable to so many different emotions and realms of experience that you can’t AFFORD to invite fear into your reality.
I feel like I am now speaking over my own head but this is what is coming out, so I welcome it in the hopes that there is a sliver of truth and resonance in what I am saying that is connected to the process of writing, singing, making visual art, filmmaking, dancing, etc. You just projected into the next portal of the matrix…welcome the growth with open arms and go create your ART & then SHARE IT FEARLESSLY!
In light of the recent “apocalyptic” events such as the earthquake and Hurricane Irene–all this frantic scare tactic talk about the end of the world has prompted me to think more about the seeming crisis of ending a damn script (I love all my scripts btw–I’m just frustrated!).
I’ve spoken to many colleagues about the writing process and the brick wall that they hit when attempting to write the penultimate third act and I have also meditated on my own scripts and endings to try to figure out what the hell goes wrong between the midpoint and the last piece of dialogue uttered in a script and I still can’t quite figure it out to a point to where I am at peace with my own process and understanding of how to write a kick ass third act.
Due to my own quest and insatiable neuroses of wanting to solve this issue, so I can just put a couple of my scripts on the finished shelf for good, I am currently doing a bit of research on endings and what makes certain films and scripts feel whole.
Today, I ran across a quote that I think is quite befitting and has also prompted me to reread the last chapter of The Odyssey because it is the type of novel that serves as a platform for good endings… with an overall sense of reward and satisfaction after having weathered the apocalyptic storm of existence.
We Seekers come home at last, purged, purified, and bearing the fruits of our journey. We share out the nourishment and treasure among the Home Tribe, with many a good story about how they were won. A circle has been closed, you can feel it. You can see that our struggles on the Road of Heroes have brought new life to our land. There will be other adventures, but this one is complete, and as it ends it brings deep healing, wellness and wholeness to our world. The Seekers have come Home. -Vogler
This quote is essentially what we the Writers… Seek to accomplish by even taking on a screenplay… we inevitably seek to bring our characters on a journey that in some ways completes them and the original question they asked of the world… the Main Tension of the film… the reason we spent our $15 to take a looking glass to our eyes to peer into someone else’s life and circumstance.
So I leave you with this… at the end of your script does your character come home with that special elixir, the power to heal the wounded land or do they come home at peace with their own failure or perspective of the world? Whatever the case may be… they better come home with something that is worth the return from that which they experienced… it’s all relative.
My research and thoughts on endings will continue. For now, enjoy one of my favorite endings from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest–and to be fair, this is not the entire ending because it is only 2 of the 15 minutes of the closing of the film, but satisfying nonetheless.
One of my latest scripts is titled Ade’s Blues about a young man who is torn between his own demons, his artistry, and what it means to sacrifice for his family. There is alot of music in the script and right now I am listening to Miles Davis’ “Tempus Fugit”, which in fact reminded me of a scene in the script.
I always listen to some type of music when I write and I typically like to use music to invoke the mood of a situation or character’s emotional state. All of my most momentous and detailed memories in life can be tracked by one song or another and as a writer I seek to synthesize the reader’s/audience’s experience of my character’s emotional arch in the same way in which I remember milestones of my life through music. Here is a sneak peak of some of the action (I must really like you all to be sharing this but, it’s a good practice to let the work flow…that’s the only way to get better)–Please excuse any grammatical errors… this has not gone through the second draft phase and FAIR WARNING: THIS IS RATED R:
INSTRUCTIONS: LISTEN TO THE YOUTUBE CLIP WHILE YOU READ.
INT. DRESSING ROOM- BIRDS EYE JAZZ CLUB- NIGHT The entire band including Ade, Chuck, Willie, and Smalls is enjoying drink and conversation in the club lounge. Bear is a bit tipsy. ELOISE Right, but non violence is what has gotten us this far, if it weren’t for a peaceful approach we wouldn’t be able to sit here and even travel together. CHUCK Oh wow, listen to you Eloise. Peace ain’t got nothing to do with it. Art transcends all of that shit anyway. BARRY Woah,Chuck, watch your mouth now.
Bear sits back sipping on his drink, enjoying the conversation. Ade is equally intrigued, waiting for a chance to jump in. ELOISE Well, I stand corrected. WILLIE You sure do. Back to my point, Malcolm had a better handle on what was necessary for the black people, forget all this we shall overcome bullshit. I doubt we have made any progress in terms of who we are to ourselves as a people. SLIM Right. But I do agree that if we are going to live in this country we have to work as a unit, and Martin was on to something with desegregation. BARRY Well, despite their faults, I suppose they still brought us to a place where we can applaud something about their efforts. ADE´ Yeah. BARRY What chu’ yea’in about? You really fucked up tonight, you know. ADE´ That wasn’t my fault… Willie how you gon’ just let him throw me under the bus like that? ELOISE Bear, come on… we’re having a good time here. Ade shakes his head with disgust.
BARRY It may not have been your fault, but your career was on the line in that moment. Fuck Slim, Fuck Willie or anyone else who was accompanying you. It is your responsibility in that moment to save your own ass. These cats we talk about, Martin, Malcolm…when they are in front of the press all that matters is their own representation of themselves, not the meetings they had or the support that comes with it… just them and their words. Ade tries to back Bear down. ADE´ Right, but as musicians we work as a team. BARRY No, you are always the director of your team. Shit, stop the damn performance if they are taking you off course. But NEVER, EVER let them sabotage your greatness. You fucked up! You don’t know what the hell these folks think of you and what’s even more appalling actually is that you fucking embarrassed me. I don’t play that shit son. You just barely made it. ADE´ I can’t believe this. Pops It’s my first time. BARRY Might be your last. ELOISE Oh Bear, come on… we’re all having a good time. No artist is 100% perfect all the time… no visionary is so either… BARRY In life… Yes that may be true, but after practice is over… that is your job… to just fucking show up! That’s all you have to do! After all the hours of practice, and all the bull shit you have about 20 minutes to show up and if you dont’ do that, you’re a pathetic piece of shit. There are millions of musicians out there waiting for that chance.
The room has gone silent. All the men are tuned into Barry’s lecture, except for Ade who has checked out mentally. ADE´ Is that it? BARRY Yeah. ADE´ You’ve got some nerve Bear. BARRY Go on. ADE´ Out of all the missed opportunities you had to do this very thing… drop knowledge, care, be a fucking man, you chose other ventures… but now… when that moment has passed you want to take it upon yourself to teach…I’m grown now… no thank you. Fuck you! I’m here by my own vices and I will either stay or leave by my own vices. Barry is tickled by Ade’s forward rebuttal. BARRY You think you have control huh? That you don’t need me?
A scene like this would be dead in the water without a bit of Miles simmering in the background… and If I could put music to all of the fights I ever witnessed in my life they would have been so much more cinematic Hope you enjoyed it. On that note–I’m actually quite inspired to bang out the second draft of this pretty soon, goodnight all!
Last year, a man who’s name I can not remember at the moment shared an interesting piece of advice when someone asked him what is the best way to go about building relationships with those ahead of you in the film game and his advice was to look around you instead of looking up to find out who to network with. I am going to take this further by saying that I have learned that there is absolutely no reason to look beyond my circle of friends and colleagues to find greatness, inspiration, or a helping hand to lift you up out of the barrel.
Today my best friend and homie for life, Amari Johnson performed at the Nuyorican Cafe with his band Liberated Soul Collective –they drove up here all the way from NOLA! After the show he placed a special gift in my hand… his first book of short stories titled, Spring Chicken’s Revenge, Tall Tales and Small Stories. I couldn’t believe it! I knew he was writing the book but to have it completed and in my hand after witnessing the journey of such a long road of growth and expansion from college til now was just incredibly sobering.
I am so humbled and honored to be apart of a universal creative arts movement as well as to have dope ass friends in my midst no matter what! Love you Amari and I promise you I will have an equally amazing gift to share with you soon!
Be thankful for your innercircle for they are your muses and your truest reflection and without them you are relative to a reality that may prove to be something different than what you perceived.
I’ve realized I don’t particularly enjoy the manic bustle on other sets outside of my own and the reason being is because the egos and the insane need and attempt to get something in the can by any means necessary just drives me crazy when I’m not the one running the show! My nerves are already bad and to be around a bunch of folks speaking fast, piddling in hierarchy, talking over one another, and frantically trying to figure out how to get the next shot is just too much for zen little ole’ me. Nevertheless, I still do it because a huge part of me just loves the zeal of completing such a big feat in a small amount of time even if I am just one of the many contributors helping to make the film happen, which is the passion filled joy of MAKING FILMS.
Whenever I am on other folks sets I am incredibly amused by the types of conflicts and conversations between keys (heads of departments) that arise. We innately place so much pressure on ourselves to be flawlessly superhuman that from the outside looking in it appears that we are all walking nutcases who need to be committed YESTERDAY–and you know what, perhaps this is a true statement in someone’s universe but I’d like to think that my set is a peaceful paradise where we can create PERFECTION calmly.
I am currently debriefing from a shoot that I recently AD’d and I must say that at times I thought I was gonna walk myself off the plank for a piece of sanity… any infinitesimal piece of it. And…now that I am looking back on the entire experience, I am more the wiser, patient and stronger for having worked on the shoot and this is why we do this… for the almost immediate barometer of progress and growth that is the debriefing process of having written a feature script or worked on a film and the only reason such revelations are possible is because we put a shitload of work into the making of our filmmakers brew.
People who watch films have absolutely no idea but those who work on films can appreciate the two clips I would like to share with you today… Take a look and I hope you find this amusing or somewhat sobering and for those of you who have no idea, this is a little taste of some of the ridiculously amusing parts of our world. You GOTTA LOVE THIS “FILM THANG” to put yourself through any of IT!
Writing deadlines are always scary but they definitely put you to the test. I made my writing deadline for a very special program to happen next January but what I have truly learned from all of this is that the moment I submitted my script for the program I should have started rewriting… I did not realize how much work I needed to do on my project and on top of it all, it’s a true story about a big chunk of someone’s life so it’s extremely difficult to streamline.
I hit alot of emotional walls with this script. I often times get frustrated with my friends because I don’t feel that they take my craft seriously: through this process I have learned a few things about my process:
1) Don’t tell people you are writing… just go effing write.
2) Don’t break up your writing day with entertaining folk… get the writing out of the way and then go out!
3) Don’t drink while writing. NOT even a glass of wine
4) Don’t eat while writing… ( I get the itis)
5) Listen to wordless music while writing unless the music is supposed to somehow influence the scene.
6) GO far away from your comfort zone in a place where there are people you don’t know surrounding you so that you feel the urgency to be productive.
7) Writing or doing work of any sort with other people has never quite proven productive for me… must explore this further.
8) Carve out specific times to go on the internet. A free for all WIFI signal is a death trap for a writer unless you absolutely need it for research forgo the internet!
I am better for this experience and I am not going to stop at the work that I did for the deadline… This is my future bread and potatoes… I gotta finish this bad boy off!
In the meantime, check out this quote a fellow filmmaker unearthed… I wrote it on a notecard and posted it right in front of me as I worked on my script. Thank ya @NIKYATU!
Writing is being able to take something whole and fiercely alive that exists inside you in some unknowable combination of thought, feeling, physicality, and spirit, and to then store it like a genie in tense, tiny black symbols on a calm white page. If the wrong reader comes across the words, they will remain just words. But for the right readers, your vision blooms off the page and is absorbed into their minds like smoke. -Mary Gaitskill
JOSEPH (V.O.) All my life I’ve been a fighter– emerging from struggle. Couldn’t nobody break me. I made them pay me my due respect.
Hope you enjoyed it. On that note–I’m actually quite inspired to bang out the second draft of this pretty soon, goodnight all!
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